Tag: Happiness

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When Was the Last Time You Were Really Happy?

Are You Happy?

Really. Think about it for a moment. Don’t just float over the question like any other words on a page. Are you happy?

Since I have started asking the question in my seminars, people have started asking me the question. At first, I would always say yes, either because that was what they wanted to hear or because I felt I had to be. But I noticed that sometimes it felt inauthentic. Sometimes I wasn’t happy. So, I started to pause when people asked me and really take my temperature, so to speak, and answer meaningfully.

For most people the answer is “Yes and no” or “Yes, but I could be happier.” There are very few people, perhaps none, who have no happiness in their lives. But there are also very few people, perhaps none, who have no unhappiness in their lives.

Some people are unhappy because they don’t like their job or their spouse. Others are unhappy because they don’t know how to relax or appreciate who they are and all they have. Some people are desperately unhappy because of a chemical imbalance in their brains. I have seen it. It is real and tragic. But most of us experience unhappiness when we wander away from ourselves.

Unhappiness is the fruit of doing and saying things that contradict who we are and what we are here for. Unhappiness is not something that happens to us as if we are poor little victims. Unhappiness is something we do to ourselves. You can choose to be happy.

People have chosen to be happy in worse circumstances than you or I will ever likely find ourselves in. No one has demonstrated that more than Viktor Frankl did in Man’s Search for Meaning as he recalled his experiences in Nazi concentration camps during World War II. Over and over, he encountered people who even though they were starving would share their inadequate rations with others. Frankl explains that while some were killing themselves or wallowing in self-pity, others were filled with an inexplicable happiness, a real joy that was independent of substance or circumstances. Their happiness did not depend on favorable external circumstances but had its source within.

What causes your unhappiness?

“Nothing on earth can satisfy your desire for happiness. The reason is very simple: You have a God-size hole. You cannot fill it with things, money, status, power, sex, drugs, alcohol, other people, experiences, or accomplishments. Only God can fill the hole.” —Resisting Happiness

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The Rhythm of Life – 21 Questions that will Change Your Life – Question #14: What’s Stopping Your Growth? 

“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.

Question #14 is about all the things you think you should do. It is easy for our lives to get filled with shoulds. The question is, who is making the shoulds?

Question #14 is… Are your “shoulds” getting in the way of your growth and happiness?

Next time you think you should do something, test the assumption. Is it really something you should do? Or is it something someone along the way said you should do that you really should discard now because it no longer serves your growth?

What’s behind each should? Wisdom, guilt, misplaced expectations, manipulation, thoughtfulness, fear, generosity… You can learn a lot about a should by looking at what’s behind a should.

Today’s question is… Are your “shoulds” getting in the way of your growth and happiness?”

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60 Second Wisdom – Is it Possible to be 10 Times Happier?

“If I told you by doing something that takes ten seconds, ten times a day, you would become ten times happier, would you do it? Most people wouldn’t. That’s human nature. We say we want to be happy but then we busy ourselves with things that make us restless and unhappy.

But maybe you are one of the few, so here it is.

We’ve all heard the term “Count your blessings!” It comes from the Jewish tradition that encourages people to count 100 blessings each day.

100 is a lot and you aren’t going to do that in ten seconds, but you can do this. Pause ten times a day for ten seconds and do these two things. First, take a deep breath, a really, really deep breath. Second, identify one person, thing, experience, or opportunity you are grateful for and just let that gratitude wash over you.

10 seconds. 1O times a day. I promise you, it will change your life. Gratitude is one of the most life-altering experiences a human being can have.”

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Minute Meditation – God at the Center

“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God.” —Romans 8:28

Instinctively every human being has a hunger for God because each of us has a hunger for happiness. Most of us have discovered that all those things we thought would make us happy might have for a while but faded and kept us searching. St. Augustine wrote of his search: “You have made us for thyself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in thee.” Your heart, your life, and mine have a deep capacity for limitless, infinite, pure, irrevocable love. No human being or beings can satisfy that deep yearning. Only God can fill it with his infinite, gentle, unconditional, eternal love. Human interpersonal relationships are great gifts from God. We need the love of others, but we must keep God at the center. We must look to God for that deep peace, happiness, and security that only God can give and not expect it from another limited, imperfect human being. Only God is perfect; humans are not. In daily, peaceful prayer, God continues to fill that capacity. Keep God at the center, and he will put the puzzle of life together for you.

Lord, call me often to prayer and reflection so I can keep you at my center. Amen.

—from the book Three Minutes with God: Reflections and Prayers to Encourage, Inspire, and Motivate
by Monsignor Frank Bognanno

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Minute Meditation – Finding Happiness

“You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy.”—Psalm 16:11

Eleanor Roosevelt once said something that is very true: “Happiness is not something that we can directly acquire. It’s a by-product of something else. It seeps into our consciousness and emotions when we choose to do that right thing, the best thing.” We basically become happy when we do our best as parents or at work, or when we reach out to help someone, or fulfill our responsibilities, whether others notice it or not. Then suddenly, strangely, we are happy. Don’t go after happiness directly. It will elude you. Just try to be the best version of yourself. Do everything with peace and for the right reason and happiness will be there as a by-product.

Lord, teach me to live with love and happiness will follow. Amen.

—from the book Three Minutes with God: Reflections and Prayers to Encourage, Inspire, and Motivate
by Monsignor Frank Bognanno