“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #14 is about all the things you think you should do. It is easy for our lives to get filled with shoulds. The question is, who is making the shoulds?
Question #14 is… Are your “shoulds” getting in the way of your growth and happiness?
Next time you think you should do something, test the assumption. Is it really something you should do? Or is it something someone along the way said you should do that you really should discard now because it no longer serves your growth?
What’s behind each should? Wisdom, guilt, misplaced expectations, manipulation, thoughtfulness, fear, generosity… You can learn a lot about a should by looking at what’s behind a should.
Today’s question is… Are your “shoulds” getting in the way of your growth and happiness?”
Our bodies tell stories that we would often rather keep quiet. Whether it’s cellulite, weight gain, stretch marks, stomach rolls, or big feet, our bodies tell the story of growth—the story of our rising and falling, our loving and losing. We are told we should be embarrassed about these signs of life; we are told to cover them up, make them disappear, or find any solution other than accepting them. But what if we decided not to? What if, instead of being ashamed that those pants no longer fit, you affirmed yourself for the growth, maturity, and substance that you’ve gained since you last wore them? Not pretending that there is a direct correlation but letting what is visible remind you to see and honor what is invisible.
Sure, maybe you went up a size since last year, but let that discovery remind you of the more important ways you have grown in that same amount of time. Maybe you took a big risk, got a job promotion, had a baby, learned about a justice issue, set an important boundary, deepened your faith, or cared for an aging parent. Look at all the important ways you have grown. Look at how much more these things matter than the inches around your waist. The truth is that your relationship with your body can never be healed through diet and exercise—not in a real, lasting sense. There will always be something to dislike or criticize—always. Healing your body-soul connection has to come from touching on the sacredness of this vessel you inhabit. That means honoring the many ways your body leads you to develop, expand, and become more than you used to be. That means refusing to punish, restrict, and demean it. That means giving it room to flourish and grow.
