The Secret Behind Our Desires

New York Times bestselling author Matthew Kelly interviews author Luke Burgis. Luke is a teacher, speaker, entrepreneur, and author of Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life.


5 Keys to Discern Anything

How to discern God’s will is one of Fr. Mark-Mary’s favorite topics. He has some principles he uses to guide his discernment. He narrows these principles down to four: needs, responsibilities, desires, and capacities. Needs: We need to be intimate with God’s word. He has already given us his word, but often we haven’t read it before discerning. Have a regular relationship with the Word of God. The primary place we should look to learn his will is in Scripture. Responsibilities: School, your career, or your living situation are examples of responsibilities that you should consider when figuring out God’s will for you. God probably isn’t calling you to travel the world as a missionary if you’re the father of five kids under seven. If you’re a student who needs to study, God probably is not calling you to go on a service trip with friends. Desires: Even though they shouldn’t determine everything, your desires do matter. If a desire doesn’t go against the other principles, then do it. Capacities: If you want to do service and grow in your relationship with God, understand your limitations. If you’re honest about your capacities, God will understand. Maybe you just don’t have the capacity to make that extra commitment. Whether or not you can do something is important, and if you can’t that’s nothing to be ashamed of. God is probably calling you to something else. If you push yourself too much you may end up hurting yourself and others. Lastly, we can all do a better job serving the needs of the poor. When discerning, do not forget what you can do for them. Remember, we are pilgrims. Little by little, we’re going to make it.


What Do I Want?


What are the desires of my heart? What do I treasure?  

These questions ask more of us than to say what we prefer, want, or need at an immediate level. They ask us to ponder the things we want to want, the desires we wish we had, the treasure we may not value as we should.  

When I ask myself what it is that my heart desires, I am always met with “things that show my weakness,” the things Paul chose to boast of in his enigmatic letter to the Corinthians. Paul’s inverted boasting echoes in the psalm where the Lord hears the lowly and the poor. When I look at my life and take stock of what it is that I treasure, I encounter my spiritual lowliness and poverty. I wonder if I am the just one whom the Lord rescues from distress. Do I seek justice to the point of distress? I doubt it. I know I am not Paul. The questions keep coming: Why do the just suffer distress? Why does justice require consolation?  

These questions all emerge from pondering what I desire and value. In the Gospel, Jesus unites them, teaching that “where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.” In other words, the answer to the question of what I value or treasure reveals where my heart is. This, in turn, reveals my desire for deeper conversion, a conversion of my own desire.