Tag: hope

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Is It Ever Okay to Give Up?

When is it okay for us to give up? Is it ever okay?

You may have seen the movie Rudy. Its eponymous protagonist is a not-so-athletic college football player who spent years taking hits and practicing with his team, only to see a few moments on the field. Those short moments, however, left him with a tremendous feeling of accomplishment and pride, knowing that he committed to something and saw it through, even when it seemed hopeless.

The question: is that always the right approach? Maybe if Rudy had dedicated that time to learning something he was naturally better at, he could have become an expert in his field. The choice Rudy made was made out of passion: he loved the game to the point of dedicating his college career to it, and not caring if the outcome wasn’t what he had expected.

But what about bigger dreams? The dream of getting married, having kids, getting into a certain religious order, entering into a certain profession? Is there ever a point where you just have to give it up?

There are a few things it’s never okay to give up. It’s never okay to give up hope itself. Hope is trust in the Lord extended into the future, knowing that he will always be with you in whatever circumstances you find yourself in. It’s also never okay to give up faith, God’s promises, or life itself.

However, it is okay—and sometimes wise—to reevaluate certain outcomes, and realize that maybe it’s time to adjust your expectations. How do you know when to do that? When reality makes it obvious.

For Rudy, that might have meant recognizing that he wasn’t going to be a starter on his football team. It’s still okay for him to want to be a part of the team in some way, and maybe get playing time one day, but reality must be acknowledged and accepted in these situations, or else we risk chasing empty expectations.

This doesn’t mean you have to give up on your dreams, or that you can’t do anything: it just means you can’t do everything. Maybe your dream is to have a family, but you and your spouse can’t get pregnant. You might not be able to conceive, but you can still adopt, or be a foster parent. Accepting the reality of your current situation means having a dream, realizing it’s place in your life, and then asking, “Okay God, now what do you want me to do?”

The outcome may not be what you had expected or planned, but if it’s with the Lord, it will still be good. And once we accept this reality, we will start to see that the real work is being done in our character, and that’s the power of trying. It may not make you the kind of person you had planned to be, but it will make you the kind of person that God wants you to be.

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Minute Meditation – Hope Blossoms in Mercy

“So many people ask to be listened to and to be understood. The Gospel of mercy requires generous and joyful servants, people who love freely without expecting anything in return. ‘Peace be with you!’ (John 20:21) is the greeting of Jesus to his disciples; this same peace awaits men and women of our own day.… It is a peace that does not divide but unites; it is a peace that does not abandon us but makes us feel listened to and loved; it is a peace that persists even in pain and enables hope to blossom. This peace, as on the day of Easter, is born ever anew by the forgiveness of God which calms our anxious hearts.” —Pope Francis

The story of Thomas in the Upper Room is a clear example of Jesus meeting us in those wounded places in our lives and wordlessly offering us whatever we need to move beyond the hurt into a place of healing, trust, and peace. He doesn’t scold Thomas for needing proof; he doesn’t condemn him for a lack of faith. He holds out his hands and gives Thomas what he needs. We each have our own struggles with faith, with trust, with love, whether in our relationships with others, our connection to a church community, our responsibilities at home, at work, in school. As we place our needs before God’s loving mercy, we open ourselves to receive whatever gesture of peace he offers us. Mercy is the sign of God’s ongoing presence in the world. Few people have made this more clear and compelling than Pope Francis. And it’s not just about realizing that God is merciful to us. It’s realizing that we are now called, compelled, even commanded to be merciful to all those people we meet.

In his preaching on mercy, Pope Francis often emphasizes the importance of listening compassionately to people who are wounded, struggling, searching for God’s love. So often we want to rush in to fix other people’s lives. The next time you feel this urge, take a step back and first simply listen to and love the person before you. God’s peace passes all our human understanding. And often it lies beyond our limited human words.

— from the book The Hope of Lent: Daily Reflections from Pope Francis
by Diane M. Houdek

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Minute Meditation – Spilling Good

Spilling good brings clarity, maybe especially in times of uncertainty. Because sometimes, life can feel too big. Too precarious. Times that break us, undo us. Times when the labels we give our limitations make our anxiety or fear feel bigger than life itself. And sometimes (if I’m honest), I’ve got nothing to give. But I’m a storyteller, and I take consolation in stories about our human capacity for recovery and renewal. When I focus on what is missing, I do not see my capacity for enoughness, inside.

The ordinary moments of every day (even those that confuse us, unnerve us, or break our hearts) are hiding places of the holy. Where the sacred is alive and well. Where hope grows. Anxiety and vulnerability are real, yes. But the answer is not to chase vulnerability away. It’s the opposite. My vulnerability is the signal that I am human, with the capacity to be stretched, to give my heart, to be broken, to cry with those who break, to spill good. And I don’t ever want to lose that.

—from the book Stand Still: Finding Balance When the World Turns Upside Down,
by Terry Hershey, page 45

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Minute Meditation – The Anchor of Hope

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” —Hebrews 11:1

The writer of the Book of Psalms sums up his reason for hope in Psalm 56:9–11: “This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, … in God I trust; I am not afraid.” There you have it. The person who believes and trusts in God, in my observation, has far less fear because he or she senses God’s presence, care, and protection. In the Scriptures, hope is visualized as an anchor. By hope we are anchored to Christ, so we don’t go adrift. He comes to us spiritually to be our anchor amid the storms of life. Be open to him.

Lord, it is so easy for me to drift. Be my anchor. Amen.

—from the book Three Minutes with God: Reflections and Prayers to Encourage, Inspire, and Motivate
by Monsignor Frank Bognanno

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Fear vs. Hope

How hopeful are you? It’s a difficult question. In a world drowning in fear and anxiety, it can be easy to get swept up in the panic of today’s culture. But as Christians, we have something greater than fear. Today, Allen gives a beautiful reflection on what hope really means and how you can increase hope in your daily life.

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Life is Messy – Unexpected Lives

Life didn’t turn out the way I expected. In some ways it has exceeded my expectations, and in other ways it has disappointed them. Never in my wildest dreams as a child would I have imagined the life I have lived. The adventures, experiences, and opportunities, the love I have given and received, and the success I have enjoyed have all far exceeded my expectations. But I also never imagined in my worst nightmares the dark side of these bright lights.

We all end up living unexpected lives.

There are hopes and dreams that didn’t materialize that I grieve, but I have been surprised and delighted by other unexpected gifts. And there are hopes and dreams that I am glad did not come to fruition. The unexpected goes both ways.

But these are not the things that make life most unexpected. It’s the truly unexpected things, those we don’t hope for or fear—particularly those that come out of nowhere and break our hearts. You wake up one morning and discover that your life has been changed forever, because of something you did or something someone else did. It’s the things we don’t plan, the things we never imagined would happen. It’s those unexpected events that slap you so hard in the face that you can taste blood in your mouth.

Nobody’s life turns out the way they expect it to. We shouldn’t be surprised. Nobody looks back on life to discover it unfolded exactly as they hoped or planned, but I found myself particularly unprepared for the inevitability of the unexpected. That’s the paradox: It is inevitable that we live unexpected lives.

Life doesn’t unfold according to our plans. But sooner or later, we each have to decide how we are going to make the most of our one, brief, unexpected life. It is then that we come face-to-face with two enduring truths: We cannot live without hope that things will change for the better, and we are not victims of our circumstances.

Hope is not always as accessible as we would like. It often seems just out of reach at those times when we are most in need of it, when our hearts are broken, our minds downtrodden, and our souls crushed. Yet, even in those moments, we have a choice. The unexpected is either a curse or an opportunity. We get to decide.

Matthew Kelly

From Life is Messy

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Minute Meditation – We Do Not Have to Give Up Hope

Our world is one that is breaking from pain and sin in every direction we look, it seems. But we do not have to give up hope, because we are women who see. If we will set our hearts on the discipline of prayer and give up the things that keep us from living wholly dependent on him, we will see God in action, recognize him at work, and have the courage to go out and proclaim his presence with great rejoicing. Our homes, our towns, and our world need us to be women of vision. They need us to know when God is stirring and to show up to witness his coming. They need us to run out rejoicing because we have hoped in him and seen our hopes confirmed.

— from the book Who Does He Say You Are? Women Transformed by Christ in the Gospels
by Colleen C. Mitchell, page 30

//Franciscan Media//

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Minute Meditation – Looking Ahead With Hope

In many of his letters Solanus speaks of the beauty of death and how we should look forward to it. For example: “Many are the rainbows, the sunbursts, the gentle breezes—and the hailstorms we are liable to meet before, by the grace of God, we shall be able to tumble into our graves with the confidence of tired children into their places of peaceful slumber.” Another letter has this: “Let us prepare for our final moment on earth by patient suffering, prayer, and the sacraments, then we will receive with joyful countenance the final call of the Divine Lover—the Bridegroom of our souls—and gently pass into eternity.” Throughout his life he had fostered a healthy, hope-filled view of death. As a young priest in Yonkers he once declared to his friend Willie Spring, “Death can be beautiful—like a wedding—if we make it so.”

A letter written in 1946 to his niece Helena Wilhite reveals his confidence in God’s loving providence: “Let us thank God ahead of time for whatever He foresees is pleasing to Him,… leaving everything at His divine disposal, including—with all its circumstances, when, where, and how—God may be pleased to dispose the events of our death.” In his last days his prayers were, as usual, for the needs of the sick and troubled but not for the relief of his own sufferings. Now he longed only for a happy death.

—from the book Gratitude and Grit: The Life of Blessed Solanus Casey,
by Brother Leo Wollenweber, OFM Cap, page 87

//Franciscan Media//