Without a forgiveness great enough to embrace even the obscure side of things, we are burdened (and I do mean burdened) with our own need to explain and to judge everything. Who is right now? Who was wrong there? These are eventual and important moral questions, but we cannot, we dare not, lead with them. If we do, we make love and compassion impossible. This is the centrality, and yet unbelievability, of Jesus’ words, “Do not judge” (Matthew 7:1).
The gifts we give are ultimately about the receiver, not about the giver. How often when we’re giving gifts do we think about how the gift will reflect on us, our great taste, our generosity, our discretionary income? Much of this stems from insecurity, a fear that we’re somehow not enough in ourselves, that what we do and how much we make and the gifts we give bolster our sense of self. But the peril of this approach is that we’re bound to be disappointed by the receiver’s reaction, no matter how much they thank us. The Christmas holidays often surface doubts and insecurities that we ignore the rest of the year. It might be the stress of extra activities, more spending than we’re accustomed to, less sleep than we need, more food and drink than we should have. We see people we haven’t seen in several months, perhaps not since last Christmas, and we wonder what they think of us. Family gatherings can raise tensions as well. The wonder of the birth of Jesus is balanced by a darker reality: We are all broken and marginalized in some way. We are called to see the mercy and forgiveness that are such an essential part of the incarnation. The peace we can’t find in our daily life is waiting for us in the love of God, a love so clearly shown in the gift of Jesus.
Treat yourself to a little soul-searching. We usually know what fault we most need to work on in ourselves. Minor issues can often be dealt with through some reflection and journaling, being honest with ourselves, and making a commitment to work on our bad habits. More serious issues might need some counseling or therapy. That could be the best Christmas gift you could give yourself. Many churches have special reconciliation services during the Advent season; if you’re so inclined, you might want to attend one, with or without individual confession. A peaceful heart is one of the greatest gifts of Christmas.
We may read volumes and volumes on the art of swimming, yet we’ll never understand what swimming is like unless we get wet. So we may read all the books ever written on the love of God and never understand loving unless we love. Where love is genuine, belonging is always mutual. It is like submerging ourselves into an ocean of sublime grace.
Without a forgiveness great enough to embrace even the obscure side of things, we are burdened (and I do mean burdened) with our own need to explain and to judge everything. Who is right now? Who was wrong there? These are eventual and important moral questions, but we cannot, we dare not, lead with them. If we do, we make love and compassion impossible. This is the centrality, and yet unbelievability, of Jesus’ words, “Do not judge” (Matthew 7:1).
5 The apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith.’ 6 The Lord replied, ‘If you had faith like a mustard seed you could say to this mulberry tree, “Be uprooted and planted in the sea,” and it would obey you. 7 ‘Which of you, with a servant ploughing or minding sheep, would say to him when he returned from the fields, “Come and have your meal at once”? 8 Would he not be more likely to say, “Get my supper ready; fasten your belt and wait on me while I eat and drink. You yourself can eat and drink afterwards”? 9 Must he be grateful to the servant for doing what he was told? 10 So with you: when you have done all you have been told to do, say, “We are useless servants: we have done no more than our duty.” ‘
As a priest I hear a lot of things, and some are more interesting than others. I’ve heard this many times when I ask people why they don’t go to church: “When I was young, I went to church all the time. I prayed all the time. I even ate fish on Fridays.” Eating fish on Fridays was not mandatory. You couldn’t eat meat on Fridays, but fish was not mandatory. “Well, I’ve paid my dues, and now I don’t have to go.” And I say, “Really? You know, when I was young, I took a lot of showers and brushed my teeth a lot. Does that mean I don’t have to do it now?” That’s the attitude of some people. They will give you a laundry list of all the things they’ve done for the church and how great they are. But there is no love there. It’s like you’ve done this huge favor for our Lord by responding to the invitation to Mass and showing up. But where is the “thank you” for the many gifts, God has given us? Where is the gratitude for all the bad things God has prevented from happening to us? I shouldn’t be here. I should be dead. My business locations were interesting, so I should not be here.
The way we talk about religious acts, “I’ve got to go to Mass.” It’s like saying, “I’ve got to get a colonoscopy.” Participating in the Mass is a great act of love for our Savior. Are you really in love with our Lord or are you here so you won’t have to worry about eternal hell fire? Love does not keep track of what it does for the Beloved. Love only regrets it could not have done more.
Father’s Reflections. . .
Some of you have asked how my vacation was and if I had fun. My vacation caused me to have some deep thoughts. I wondered whether I’m getting old or if I’m just getting good at what I do because I didn’t need bail money while I was gone. But my vacations are always…interesting. I’ll give you one story besides the one about the woman who threw up in the aircraft on the flight back – we had a flight and a show, so what the heck – we got it all. It really wasn’t a bad flight. If you have ever flown on a military aircraft there is what’s called a “map of the earth,” and it’s a lot of fun. It’s like riding in an airplane on a roll-a-coaster. You learn to keep whatever you’ve eaten down…or not. Anyway, one morning I was eating breakfast at the diner like usual and I was talking a lady I know, Cindy, who is a paranormal or ghosthunter. She told me about a very old cemetery across the street which dated back to the Revolutionary War. But she was scared to go there. She was once at this cemetery in the daytime, and she heard a voice say, “Get out!” She felt a presence, so she picked up her dog and ran out of the cemetery. I said, “Really! I’ve been all over that cemetery and haven’t encountered anything.” She asked me if I was afraid. I said, “Do you know Who I work for? Are you talking to me? I know a Guy.” She asked me if my sister-in-law and I would go there with her so she could show us the spot. So, we went to the cemetery and she took us to a spot and said, “Right here. This is where it happened.” So I walked behind the gravestone and found another one that was flat and black. I looked down and it was the grave of a young guy who was a member of a biker club. I said, “It might be him. He probably left the planet a little unhappy. It could be him, but who knows.” This is some of the fun that I have. What do you do for fun while on vacation? Something you probably wouldn’t do, but that is just me.
How will you apply this message to your life? _______________________________________
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Have you ever heard the slogan “You do you”? Dr. Sri discusses the negative connotations of this statement and how we are called to live and love in a much greater way.
