Tag: Love

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Sermon Notes – November 12, 2023 – “Love Banishes Fear”

“Love Banishes Fear”

Father Peter Fitzgibbons

November 11 – 12, 2023

Gospel:  Matthew 25:1-13

Jesus told His disciples this parable: “The kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones, when taking their lamps, brought no oil with them, but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps. Since the bridegroom was long delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight, there was a cry, ‘Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’ Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise ones replied, ‘No, for there may not be enough for us and you. Go instead to the merchants and buy some for yourselves.’ While they went off to buy it, the bridegroom came and those who were ready went into the wedding feast with him. Then the door was locked. Afterwards, the other virgins came and said, ‘Lord, Lord, open the door for us!’ But He said in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour.”

In the Gospel, it sounds as if they were having a midnight wedding.  People don’t have weddings during the day in the Middle East.  Know why?  Because it’s hot!  You don’t want to look like a sweat hog coming down the aisle, do you?  No! 

Now, I’m willing to bet, without taking a poll, that you all want to go to Heaven.  I’m also willing to bet that none of us are looking forward to the trip.  According to my research and experience, you have to die first.  A while ago I was making my rounds at the VA’s emergency room, and I recognized a couple whom I had met previously.  I asked them why they were back.  Were they back for lunch?  Did they miss us?  The man said, “No, I just came in for pain management.”  We talked for a bit, and the man said, “Chaplain, may I ask you a question?”  Sure.  He said, “I want to stop the chemo.  Is that okay?”  I looked at his wife and asked her, “Are you okay with that?”  And she said ‘yes.’  So, I looked at the man and said, “It’s okay to stop the chemo.”  He’s only in his early 40s, but it was time.  He’d had enough. 

We all know we are going on a trip, but we know not the day or hour.  During the years that we are blessed with life, know that they are growing shorter.   We are not looking forward to the trip because of fear.  We were never meant to die.  The sin of our first parents caused that.  Our sins after baptism and the sins committed against us increase that fear.  But love casts away fear.   The more we grow in holiness, the more and more that fear subsides.  We can look forward to being with the Person we have loved all our lives and never to be separated again by sin.  We don’t know what is on the side.   However, it’s not a ‘what’ that is on the other side.  That’s a blasphemous statement because on the other side is a ‘Who.’  That ‘Who’ is always with us as we make our journey to Heaven.   So, we are not alone.  Now, there is a little doodoo fairy that sits on our shoulders and is always telling us that God is not with us otherwise we wouldn’t be afraid and that we would be perfect, etc.  “Oh, God doesn’t love you.”  Just like everything else he fills our heads with, that is a lie.  God is always with us.  We tend to forget that our guardian angel is always with us too. 

Will we always have some fear?  Yes.  But our fear of death will decrease as we grow in holiness, and we will look forward to going to our Savior.  That doesn’t mean we want to leave our loved ones in this life.  But we will be going home to our Almighty God.  Now when we get to Heaven, we won’t be just sitting around.   It won’t be snooze time.  As Saint Therese of Lisieux said, “I will spend my eternity in Heaven doing good on Earth.”   That’s what we will be doing in the presence of our Lord, God.  We will have God’s ear and will be able to pray more effectively than ever before for all the loved ones we left behind.  So, our dying is not exactly the worst thing that could happen to us.  But dying and being separated from God is.   

I was doing Mass over at the women’s maximum-security prison in Troy.  That’s always fun.  I’m ready for Mass, and we played “Stump the Priest.”   One of the women said, “Father, when I get out, I’m going to visit you.”  Well, I’m looking forward to that day!  She said she was very upset, and I asked her why.  She said, “I read in the paper that everybody dies, and they all go to see Jesus.”  I said, “That’s true.”  She didn’t like that answer, so I said, “When we die, we all will see God.  Some stay for only a cup of coffee while others get to stay longer.”   How long we stay depends on how we live.  In the Gospels, from the Book of Matthew to Revelation, are the final exam questions.  We don’t know when our good Lord will come for us.  Looking at myself in the mirror, combing my hair doesn’t take that long anymore.   That’s just age.  So, my meeting with our Lord is approaching sooner and sooner. 

I went to Ms. Dottie’s 99th birthday party.  When I knocked, she came to the door holding a big glass of wine.   Cool!  Dottie is now 101.  My aunt was 98 when she pulled the plug on herself.  Time to go!  Another aunt passed at 93.  My mother was an underachiever and died at the age of 77.   I may not make it to 77, but it doesn’t matter.   It’s not about age but rather our state of love and living a perfect life until our good Lord comes for us.  I tell patients in hospice who have made their peace with God, that soon, and I don’t know when, but soon, they will see the good Lord coming for them.  He will have a smile on His face with His arms open.  Put a smile on your face, open your arms, and run toward Him.  Have that embrace which is Heaven.  You will be one with your Maker.   

Before you go to bed at night, always pray the Prayer for a Happy Death.  With that Sacrament, we will be assured, in the same way Christ assured the Good Thief on the Cross, “Today you will be with Me in paradise.”

Prayer for a Happy Death (Ven. John Henry Cardinal Newman)

O my Lord and Savior, support me in my last hour in the strong arms of Thy Sacraments and by the fresh fragrance of Thy consolations. Let the absolving words be said over me, and the holy oil sign and seal me; and let Thine own Body be my food, and Thy Blood my sprinkling; and let my sweet Mother, Mary, breathe on me, and my Angel whisper peace to me, and my glorious saints and my own dear patrons smile upon me, that, in them all and through them all, I may receive the gift of perseverance, and die as I desire to live, in Thy faith, in Thy Church, in Thy service, and in Thy love. Amen.

How will you apply this message to your life?  ________________________________________

You can read all of Father Fitzgibbons’ sermons by going to annunciationcatholicalbemarle.com and clicking on “Blog” then “Categories” then “Sermon Notes.”  On a cell phone: click on “Blog” and then “Menu.”  Scroll to the bottom and click on “Categories.”  Sermon Notes are also available on the Church’s Facebook page at ola.catholic.church.  Click on “Groups” and then “Sermon Notes.”

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Sermon Notes – November 5, 2023 – “Love Is an Action, Not an Emotion”

“Love Is an Action, Not an Emotion”

Father Peter Fitzgibbons

November 4 – 5, 2023

Gospel:  Matthew 23:1-12

In the Gospel last Sunday, the Pharisees asked our Lord, “What is the greatest Commandment?”  Jesus answered, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart” (Mark 12:30).  The second greatest Commandment is, “You must love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:34-40).   Our Lord knows that most people, when left to their own imaginations, will screw it up.  So, in the Gospel, He tells us exactly what love is and how to manifest it.  “If you love Me, take up your cross every day and follow Me” (Luke 9:23).   “If you love Me keep My commandments” (John 14:15).   By the way, there are many others. 

Love is an action and not an emotion.  It is an act of the will and not a feeling.  Sometimes acts of love are very easy to do and enjoyable like giving your spouse a gift or making your children and grandchildren smile and laugh.  Those are great gifts of love.  But loving God can be difficult because He is not us.  Often, I think I love myself more than God does.  Some gifts of love are a little harder like taking up our daily crosses.  Most people do not like their crosses.  Do you think I enjoy walking around like a question mark?  No.  Do you think I enjoy eating fish twice a week?  Heck no!  Thank God for French dressing!   Sometimes I do not like getting up in the morning.  I’ve put a lot of mileage on this body, and getting up can be a very painful experience.  But these are minor ways to love.   Look at the Good Samaritan.  He was on a trip when he came upon a man who had been beaten and robbed.  The man was not lying on his side of the road so, legally, it was not his business, and he was not morally bound to help the man.  But love is outside of oneself.   So, even though it delayed his trip and traveling at night was very dangerous, the Good Samaritan went outside of himself to care for the man who had been beaten and robbed.   

Sometimes we don’t like what God asks us to do.  When someone is hurt or sick and needs our help, we think, “Nope.  I’m not cut out for this.”  That doesn’t matter.  It’s not about you; it’s about that person.  Acts of love may be very inconvenient.  But we are called to not only show our love but also to grow in love.  An act of love can be as small and mindless as eating fish.  Some crosses are pretty easy like mine and others are much more difficult.  Taking up our cross is not always pleasant to the senses.  Changing diapers is not bad until the smell reaches you.  That’s when you rise to a whole different occasion to love.  This is what God calls us to do if we love Him.  What do all these acts of love do?  They take us away from ourselves. 

When you work in medicine, you encounter things that are not pleasant, and the gag reflex kicks in.  Sometimes acts of love can be rather repulsive.  When a helicopter crashed, I showed Bubba, my staff assistant, how to bring patients in on gurneys just like on Mash.  Bubba, who was on the verge of being sick, said, “Sir, [Bleurgh] what do you want me to do, Sir [Bleurgh]?”   I said, “First, turn your head.  Step outside, get some fresh air, and come back.”   Bubba was doing acts of love while his organs were trying to leave his body in no particular order.  The sounds and smells were traumatizing.  Bubba was 19 years old and had never been exposed to anything like that.  But he did what needed to be done, and that was an act of love.  Bearing our crosses and those of other people including our family and friends is difficult, but they are crosses of love.  People say, “I don’t feel comfortable doing that.”  Ahh . . . I don’t care.  I don’t like going to prisons even though they allow me to leave.  As long as they don’t make me eat fish, I’m good.  “I don’t feel comfortable with that.”  Good!  Our Lord never said anything about being comfortable.  “I don’t get anything out of it.”  Great!   I’m not the world’s greatest spiritual director.  I’m like to the right of Genghis Khan. “I don’t get anything out of it.”   Don’t care.  You aren’t supposed to.  Spiritual direction is not about you.  I don’t care how you feel.  Not one bit.  We are given the grace of comfort more often than we think, but not as much as we would like.  It is not about us.  Love is a gift to the other.  When Jesus gives us these directions about how to love, it trains us to love like Him. 

When you give gifts of love, you are dying to self so that you can feel what our good Lord felt.   You are imitating what happened to our Lord on the Cross.  People say, “But no one says thank you.”   Many people in my priestly ministry don’t say thank you, and I’ve been doing this for a long time.   Believe it or not, I have been cursed out, and not just by my family.   In the Book of Acts, the apostles rejoiced because “they had been found worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the Name” (Acts 5:41).   We get the strength to do that by prayer and through the Sacraments.  When we fail in our acts of love, as we all do, we have the Sacrament of Penance to not only heal the wounds of our failures but also to heal the wounds that other people have inflicted upon us.  This strengthens our resolve to pick up our cross and follow Him. 

In the spiritual life, love is not an emotion; it’s an action.  We have to love.  In the various stages of life, love takes on different forms.  Sometimes when people will soon meet their Maker, and I’m preparing them for their passing, I’ll say, “On this bed is your cross imitating Christ.  You are at the right hand of Christ like the Good Thief.”   So, offer your sufferings up.  You have much to offer through all the suffering you endure although we suffer much less than our grandparents because we have much better medicine now.  Still, when you are going through it, it seems like a lot.  I had a man who just passed away from idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis.  He couldn’t breathe.  When you can’t breathe, you tend to panic, so he was on a lot of antianxiety medicines.  In that patient’s bed, you could see the suffering of Christ.  By your suffering, you are imitating Christ’s sacrifice.

When I was a seminarian, I learned an important lesson.  I was assigned to Saint John’s Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts.  As I was making rounds with a good Jesuit priest, all of a sudden, the door to a patient’s room opened.  The smell was so, so bad.  I went out into the stairwell retching while I tried to hold my stomach down where it should be.  I did not go to medical school, but I knew my stomach should not be up in my throat.  I told my father about it, and he said, “That’s good, son.”  So basically, he didn’t care either.  He was an Army medic before he became an officer.  My father said, “You know, it’s not about you.  You leave that room, get sick, and then go back in.  It’s not about you.”  That was one of the best spiritual directions I ever received.  Just remember that there will be occasions when our gifts of love will make us feel bad.  But there are two things we are learning:  1) It is not about us; and 2) When it’s really hard, when people are repulsive, abusive, and ungrateful, that’s when we grow in love.  It is then that you have some conception, in a very minor way, of what Christ endured.  His greatest act of love was on the Cross.  What did His own chosen people do at the foot of the Cross?  They jeered Him.

How will you apply this message to your life?  _______________________________________

You can read all of Father Fitzgibbons’ sermons by going to annunciationcatholicalbemarle.com and clicking on “Blog” then “Categories” then “Sermon Notes.”  On a cell phone: click on “Blog” and then “Menu.”  Scroll to the bottom and click on “Categories.”  Sermon Notes are also available on the Church’s Facebook page at ola.catholic.church.  Click on “Groups” and then “Sermon Notes.”