Tag: judgement

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Struggling with Self-Worth? 4 TOXIC Habits That Are Killing It

“One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how universal our struggle with self-worth is as human beings. I have met some of the most famous and successful people in the world, and it’s amazing how low their sense of self-worth is. I have met some of the most beautiful and talented people in the world, and it’s amazing how much they struggle with issues related to self-worth.

Here are 4 toxic habits that may be killing your self-worth:

1. Comparing yourself to other people. Comparisons are worthless in a world of beautifully unique individuals. And comparing ourselves to others leads us to think about all we are not rather than all we are.

2. Thinking you know what other people are thinking about you. Perhaps you think they don’t like you, perhaps you think they are looking down on you and judging you, perhaps you think they think they are better than you. The truth is, most people don’t have that much time to think about you because they are too busy thinking about themselves.

3. Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. Most people over-estimate what they can accomplish in a day, so even if they accomplish a great many things, they still feel they have failed. This is just one simple example, but this approach bleeds into every aspect of our lives. Start setting reasonable expectations.

4. Judging yourself by the worst thing you ever did. People are not who they were on their best day or their worst day. We are all more dynamic and more complicated and more wonderful than that. It’s time to let go of your worst day and move on to create some more best days.

How we feel about ourselves impacts how we relate with others. How we feel about ourselves impacts our physical health. And how we feel about ourselves is much more within our influence than we sometimes realize.”

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Minute Meditation – Judging Makes Love Impossible

Without a forgiveness great enough to embrace even the obscure side of things, we are burdened (and I do mean burdened) with our own need to explain and to judge everything. Who is right now? Who was wrong there? These are eventual and important moral questions, but we cannot, we dare not, lead with them. If we do, we make love and compassion impossible. This is the centrality, and yet unbelievability, of Jesus’ words, “Do not judge” (Matthew 7:1).

—from the book Jesus’ Alternative Plan: The Sermon on the Mount
by Richard Rohr, OFM

//Franciscan Media//

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Sermon Notes – August 7, 2022 – “None of Us Are Getting Out of Here Alive”

“None of Us Are Getting Out of Here Alive”

Father Peter Fitzgibbons

 August 6 – 7, 2022

Gospel:  Luke 12:32-48

32 ‘There is no need to be afraid, little flock, for it has pleased your Father to give you the kingdom.  33 ‘Sell your possessions and give to those in need. Get yourselves purses that do not wear out, treasure that will not fail you, in heaven where no thief can reach it and no moth destroy it.  34 For wherever your treasure is, that is where your heart will be too.  35 ‘See that you have your belts done up and your lamps lit.  36 Be like people waiting for their master to return from the wedding feast, ready to open the door as soon as he comes and knocks.  37 Blessed those servants whom the Master finds awake when he comes. In truth I tell you, he will do up his belt, sit them down at table and wait on them.  38 It may be in the second watch that He comes, or in the third, but blessed are those servants if He finds them ready.  39 You may be quite sure of this, that if the householder had known at what time the burglar would come, he would not have let anyone break through the wall of his house.  40 You too must stand ready, because the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect.’  41 Peter said, ‘Lord, do you mean this parable for us, or for everyone?’  42 The Lord replied, ‘Who, then, is the wise and trustworthy steward whom the master will place over his household to give them at the proper time their allowance of food?  43 Blessed that servant if his master’s arrival finds him doing exactly that.  44 I tell you truly, he will put him in charge of everything that he owns.  45 But if the servant says to himself, “My master is taking his time coming,” and sets about beating the menservants and the servant-girls, and eating and drinking and getting drunk,  46 his master will come on a day he does not expect and at an hour he does not know. The master will cut him off and send him to the same fate as the unfaithful.  47 ‘The servant who knows what his master wants, but has got nothing ready and done nothing in accord with those wishes, will be given a great many strokes of the lash.  48 The one who did not know, but has acted in such a way that he deserves a beating, will be given fewer strokes. When someone is given a great deal, a great deal will be demanded of that person; when someone is entrusted with a great deal, of that person even more will be expected.

Now, I have some good news for you.  Do you want some good news?  You are all going to die.  How do you like my bedside manner?  I was battle-trained in the Army.  It may not be today, but we are all going to die because that is the only way we can get to Heaven.  You are here at Mass preparing for your death.  Our Good Lord is the object of our love, and we wish to possess Him.  You are here so that you can possess Him and be possessed by Him in Holy Communion.  We want to be possessed by Him eternally in Heaven.  But, unfortunately for us, after the sins of our first parents and the sins we have committed after our Baptism, we have to die in order to be with our Lord forever.  We love the destination, but we are not too happy about the trip details. 

I’ve seen a lot of things I don’t want to die from, but it’s not our choice.  “Can’t we be like the Blessed Mother and be whisked up to Heaven?”  No.  We all have to suffer.  We all follow the way of the Cross, and at some point in our life, we don’t know the day…it could be 40 or 50 years from now, we will ascend the Cross.  Which Cross we ascend is up to us.  It could be the Cross on Christ’s left or the Cross on His right.  I would suggest the Cross on His right because that is the one the Good Thief was on when Christ told him, “Today you will be with Me in Paradise.”  The other one not so much. 

Our Lord will come for us.  You may be thinking, “But He is coming in judgement.”  Judgement is not that bad. First of all, let me explain something about Jewish weddings.  Jewish weddings occur after sundown. So, our Lord comes in the middle of the night.  You never know.  You may be tired, and you may be dozing.  We don’t know the time when our Lord will come.  And for those who look forward to His coming, it’s a great thing.  Don’t you look forward to your family, not my family, but your family and friends coming to visit?  You look out the window, and you look at your watch.  Or, if you are a ghoul, you have a tracker on your phone.  Why?  Because you want them there.  You want your love to be complete with your loved ones.  We look forward to our love finally being rewarded and possessing the object of our love. 

So, our Lord’s coming is not a threat.  It is a motivator and an encouragement for us to take up our cross each day and follow Him.   “Wake up!  I am coming for you, and I don’t want to be separated from you.  Please do not separate yourself from Me.”   Our Lord does not threaten.  How we condition our souls is how we respond.  “He’s coming to judge me!”  What’s wrong with you?   What have you done?  “Oh, He’s coming!  I’m going to get it!”  He’s going to look at that permanent record of yours.  He is coming because He wants us.  That’s why He made us.  Why did He make us?  To know Him, serve Him, and love Him in this life and to share eternity with Him.  The only one who can thwart that plan is us. 

Never get discouraged.  That is one of the greatest temptations we suffer.   We pray, we work hard, we come to Mass, we set a good example, and we become discouraged when we don’t see a difference in ourselves and others.  Actually, there is a big difference – we just can’t see it.  The devil says, “You know, you need to stop that garbage. . . you are making yourself sick.  Go out and have a good time.  Get a double order of bacon and live it up.”  That is the sin of discouragement.  “I keep falling with my cross!”  Do you keep getting up?  “Yes.”  That’s what you are supposed to do.  The only time you don’t need to carry your cross is when you are dead.  So, don’t be discouraged.  Our lord is coming.  He is coming at the end of time which we don’t know when that will be.  More likely, it will be at the time of our passing from this world to the next.  You are all here, so I’m sure you are looking forward to that moment.  But if you are like me, you are trying to negotiate the details.  “You know, Lord, if you could, I’d like to die this way…just asking.”

I visited with one gentleman who I would be surprised if he is still alive.  I said, “Mr. H., I have other rounds to make, but I’ll be back next Thursday.  Will I see you?”  He said, “No, I don’t think so.”  I said, “When you see Jesus, would you put in a good word for me?”  He said he would.  He knew he was going to pass, and he was ready to go.  Not all of us will have that opportunity – I hope we all do.   And in the words of Saint John Henry Newman, “to have the holy oil sign and seal us and absolving words said over us.”  This is encouragement.  Do not give in to the temptations of the devil.  Do not be discouraged by your labors, sacrifices, crosses, or seemingly lack of advancement on the way to sanctity.  As long as you don’t quit, you are always advancing.  And do not lose heart.  His plan for us is happiness.  At some point, and we don’t know when that point will be, the Lord will come and say, “You have graduated.  Come into the Kingdom prepared for you since the foundation of the world.”  So be encouraged.  Our Lord is coming. 

How will you apply this message to your life?  _________________________________

You can read all of Father Fitzgibbons’ sermons by going to annunciationcatholicalbemarle.com and clicking on “Blog” then “Categories” then “Sermon Notes.”  Cell phone: click on “Blog” then “Menu” and then “Categories”

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Sermon Notes – February 20, 2022 – “Without Judgement, There is No Mercy”

“Without Judgement, There is No Mercy”

Father Peter Fitzgibbons

 February 19 – 20, 2022

Gospel:  Luke 6:27-38

I was tidying up some stuff as I’m prone to do from time to time, and I found some military/Army papers.  Oh, this could be important, but not likely since it’s going on nine years since I retired.   I don’t think they miss me, and I don’t miss them either.  They tried to kill me.  It wasn’t personal…just business.  So, I looked at the document and it was orders for REFRAD or Release From Active Duty.  I read through the document, and it was a stroll down memory lane.  For my education, “high school or the equivalent” was listed.  Well, that’s pretty close.  I told you I was the village idiot, and the military knew.  Except that I could not have been an officer without a college education, and I could not have been a chaplain without a master’s degree.  Welcome to the Army.  Anyway, I thought it was hilarious.  I’m not the brightest bulb in the circuit, but I did study and pass tests because I have initials after my name.  

Some days I went to class, and I remember a discussion about sin.  By the way, the Church is still against sin.  A lot of people use as an excuse for having no morality that we cannot be judgmental.  I have heard people in Confession say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned.”   Okay.  “I have judgmentalism.”   So, I have a degree in Philosophy.  I have a degree in Divinity.  I have a minor in Military Science and one in Western Civilization.  But I have no idea what you are talking about.  I have absolutely no clue.  There is no such thing.  If you look in the two books on Moral Theology, it’s not there.  There is the sin of rash judgement but not judgmentalism.  We are called to judge.  In my house I have to judge a lot.  I open the refrigerator and if I see bushy green stuff, I have to make a judgement.  Is that stuff supposed to be green?  It’s always a question in my mind.  So, we make judgements all the time because we are supposed to.  Physicians and healthcare workers make judgements.  Our Lord said you will know them by their fruits.  You are supposed to judge actions.  Actions are objectively evil or good.  Very few actions by a moral agent are neutral.  We are all moral agents.  So, all of our actions are good or evil.  They can be objectively wrong.  This one bozo passed a State Trooper going 55 mph in a 35 mph zone.  Hey dude, you are about to meet a new friend!  He was wrong, and he was stupid.  But we are not to judge beyond God’s mercy. 

We are all called to make judgements.  Sometimes in my former line of work, before I was here with you folks, I had to make instantaneous judgements.  Otherwise, I would have lost my breathing privileges.  In some fields, it’s the same.  We are called to make judgements.  We cannot judge anyone beyond God’s mercy.  We don’t know the crosses they carry.  We judge and treat them according to their actions.  That’s the moral law. 

I’m trying to get away from here for a little while because my cousin has cancer.  We are hoping for a miracle although it doesn’t look promising.  But, what the heck.  Never asked, never granted.  My cousin is a very gifted woman.  She’s an artist.  She can sing.  She’s a nurse.  She’s a beautiful woman.  All women are beautiful, and my cousin is exceptionally so.  My family has good looks and no money.  Damn.  Her father – my godfather – had his problems.  He was a gambling addict and an alcoholic.  He was a great engineer and absolutely brilliant.   Some of that is genetic.  Although 30+ missions as a waist gunner in a B-17 over Nazi Germany during WW II probably didn’t help much.  My cousin grew up in a home like that.  Her father tried.  I can tell you that he struggled with his crosses because when he was near death, he asked me to hear his confession.  That was faith.  People who judged him would say that he was a worthless drunk and everything else.  No.  God did not forget him, and he did not forget God.  It’s just that his crosses were so heavy that he fell a lot.  Other so-called Christian religions believe they know who is in Heaven and who isn’t.  That’s not true.  We don’t know.  We just work like heck and hope we get there. 

We have to practice judgementalism on ourselves.  We judge ourselves guilty of sin.  Why don’t people go to confession?  Some say, “Well, I don’t really have any sins.”  Then you shouldn’t come to Communion.  Huh?  Communion is not a door prize for just showing up.  Who do you receive in Holy Communion?  You receive the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Who is Jesus Christ?  He is our Savior.  Okay.  Two for two.  What does He save us from?  Sin.   So, if you have no sin, you do not need Jesus.  Let me know if you do.   We judge ourselves guilty in order to receive Him.  We cannot judge who is in Heaven.  Remember, the good thief stole Heaven at the last minute.   A man who thought he was smarter than the average bear was playing games with Bishop Sheen.  He wanted to know if Jonah was really swallowed by the whale.   Bishop Sheen said “I don’t know.  When I get to Heaven, I’ll ask him.”  The man said, “What if he’s not in Heaven?”  Bishop Sheen said, “Then you ask him.”  Do you know what the three biggest surprises in Heaven will be?  Who is in Heaven.  Who is not in Heaven.   And, that we are there.

How will you apply this message to your life? 

You can read all of Father Fitzgibbons’ sermons by going to http://AnnunciationCatholicAlbemarle.com/ and clicking on “Blog” then “Categories” and then “Sermon Notes.”   Sermon notes can also be found on the church Facebook page by searching for “Facebook Our Lady of the Annunciation Albemarle”

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Saint of the Day – April 5th – Saint Vincent Ferrer

Saint Vincent (January 23, 1350 – April 5, 1419)

The polarization in the Church today is a mild breeze compared with the tornado that ripped the Church apart during the lifetime of this saint. If any saint is a patron of reconciliation, Vincent Ferrer is.

Despite parental opposition, he entered the Dominican Order in his native Spain at 19. After brilliant studies, he was ordained a priest by Cardinal Peter de Luna—who would figure tragically in his life.

Of a very ardent nature, Vincent practiced the austerities of his Order with great energy. He was chosen prior of the Dominican house in Valencia shortly after his ordination.

The Western schism divided Christianity first between two, then three, popes. Clement VII lived at Avignon in France, Urban VI in Rome. Vincent was convinced the election of Urban was invalid, though Catherine of Siena was just as devoted a supporter of the Roman pope. In the service of Cardinal de Luna, Vincent worked to persuade Spaniards to follow Clement. When Clement died, Cardinal de Luna was elected at Avignon and became Benedict XIII.

Vincent worked for him as apostolic penitentiary and Master of the Sacred Palace. But the new pope did not resign as all candidates in the conclave had sworn to do. He remained stubborn, despite being deserted by the French king and nearly all of the cardinals.

Vincent became disillusioned and very ill, but finally took up the work of simply “going through the world preaching Christ,” though he felt that any renewal in the Church depended on healing the schism. An eloquent and fiery preacher, he spent the last 20 years of his life spreading the Good News in Spain, France, Switzerland, the Low Countries and Lombardy, stressing the need of repentance and the fear of coming judgment. He became known as the “Angel of the Judgment.”

Vincent tried unsuccessfully, in 1408 and 1415, to persuade his former friend to resign. He finally concluded that Benedict was not the true pope. Though very ill, he mounted the pulpit before an assembly over which Benedict himself was presiding, and thundered his denunciation of the man who had ordained him a priest. Benedict fled for his life, abandoned by those who had formerly supported him. Strangely, Vincent had no part in the Council of Constance, which ended the schism.

Reflection

The split in the Church at the time of Vincent Ferrer should have been fatal—36 long years of having two “heads.” We cannot imagine what condition the Church today would be in if, for that length of time, half the world had followed a succession of popes in Rome, and half an equally “official” number of popes in say, Rio de Janeiro. It is an ongoing miracle that the Church has not long since been shipwrecked on the rocks of pride and ignorance, greed and ambition. Contrary to Lowell’s words, “Truth forever on the scaffold, wrong forever on the throne,” we believe that “truth is mighty, and it shall prevail”—but it sometimes takes a long time.

Saint Vincent Ferrer is the Patron Saint of:

Builders
Businessmen
Reconciliation

//Franciscan Media//