What is the essential ingredient to the good life?
Since Aristotle first spoke of “the good life” almost 2,500 years ago, it seems everyone has been on a quest to experience it. I have heard many people speak about it and I have read many books on the subject. Some people think it’s about success and accomplishment. Others think it’s about money and things. Some think it’s about love and family. Others think it’s about food, wine, travel, adventure, education, meaningful work, independence, friendship, and pleasure. There’s nothing wrong with these things, unless these things are all you’ve got. Because even all of these things together will not deliver the good life.
There is only one ingredient essential to the good life. So essential that without it, the good life is impossible. You would think that such an ingredient would be widely sought after. It isn’t. You might think that such an ingre- dient is scarce. It isn’t. You may think this ingredient is expensive. It isn’t. You may think people would be clam- oring to get their hands on it. They aren’t.
When people talk about the good life, you get the impression that it is mysterious and only available to a select few people. This isn’t true. There is no secret to the good life. It isn’t a mystery. No exceptional talent is required. It isn’t only for the rich and famous. It is available to everyone, everywhere, at all times.
What is the essential ingredient of the good life? Goodness itself. The secret to the so-called good life has always been right before our very eyes. If you wish to live the good life, fill your life with goodness. Fill your life with love, kindness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity.
“Three things are necessary to everyone: truth of faith which brings understanding, love of Christ which brings compassion, and endurance of hope which brings perseverance.” — St. Bonaventure
“Yet such are the pity and compassion of this Lord of ours, so desirous is He that we should seek Him and enjoy His company, that in one way or another He never ceases calling us to Him . . . God here speaks to souls through words uttered by pious people, by sermons or good books, and in many other such ways. Sometimes He calls souls by means of sickness or troubles, or by some truth He teaches them during prayer, for tepid as they may be in seeking Him, yet God holds them very dear.”— St. Teresa of Avila, p.26
Out of gratitude comes the great yes to life in its wondrous diversity. Gratitude inspires us to bring beauty to our relationships, local and global. Our yes to life joins us with others. Let us, like Mary of Nazareth when she was confronted by the angel Gabriel, say yes to God’s invitation to do greater things than we imagine and pass our gifts on to others with every breath and action. Our yes inspires us to move from gratitude to justice and compassion. Our privilege becomes the catalyst to shared experiences with the vulnerable and the willingness to let go of our wealth for the well-being of those around us.
27) But I say this to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28) Bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly. 29) To anyone who slaps you on one cheek, present the other cheek as well; to anyone who takes your cloak from you, do not refuse your tunic. 30) Give to everyone who asks you, and do not ask for your property back from someone who takes it. 31) Treat others as you would like people to treat you. 32) If you love those who love you, what credit can you expect? Even sinners love those who love them. 33) And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit can you expect? For even sinners do that much. 34) And if you lend to those from whom you hope to get money back, what credit can you expect? Even sinners lend to sinners to get back the same amount. 35) Instead, love your enemies and do good to them, and lend without any hope of return. You will have a great reward, and you will be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. 36) Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate. 37) Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38) Give, and there will be gifts for you: a full measure, pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap; because the standard you use will be the standard used for you.
I work at the Veterans’ Administration (VA) Hospital in Salisbury one or two days a week. A VA hospital is different from a civilian one. Unlike at civilian hospitals, these patients were in the military and have been trained to kill.
I have access to patient records so that before I go into a patient’s room for a visit, I can review them and be aware of any behavioral issues that could pose a risk to my safety and to others. Some of the patients are just plain bad people…but, some have had bad breaks in life and are hurting….others suffer from cancer or alcoholism….and still others suffer from some sort of trauma like Military Sexual Trauma (MST) or Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I approach patients differently depending on their background and diagnoses. We cannot judge people on how they look or how they act. Were their actions evil? Perhaps. Are they sick? Yes. But, nobody is beyond God’s love and mercy.
A hospital is not exactly a happy place to be. It is very likely that patients and their families are dealing with a fair amount of stress. One time, a social worker was talking to a Marine…a big guy. I could tell that the Social Worker was getting nervous and that the guy was becoming increasingly agitated. It was apparent that the patient was not getting the answers he wanted to hear. So, to calm the situation, I stepped between them and asked the Marine what was going on. By simply talking to him, one soldier to another, he was able to regain his composure. Treating him with compassion relieved his stress.
On another occasion, the nurses told me I needed to visit a Hospice patient who had a statue of Buddha in his room. It took several visits for this man to finally open up to me. When he did, he told me that the silver band he wore had 29 notches on it which represented the 29 Japanese soldiers he had killed. This patient, who was brilliant, was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). But, he was able to deal with the horror he had seen by finding peace in Buddha.
We were at a local restaurant last week after Mass when I noticed a disheveled man who looked as if he was down on his luck and suffering from addiction. I could tell he didn’t have much money. So, I told the waitress that I would pay for his breakfast and asked her to please tell the man that God loves him. A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. Compassion is a verb…an action word. It is not enough to feel compassion. We are called to both pray for others and to take physical actions to help them. Too often, we underestimate the power of the smallest act of caring which has the potential to turn a life around.
You have heard me say that I’m not much, but I’m all I think about. We all tend to think about ourselves incessantly, and it can be tough to think about others. For example, it can be very frustrating to be stuck in traffic behind a slow driver. After all, we have very important things to accomplish and places to be, so why is the person in front of me driving so slowly, or why did they cut me off in traffic!! In these cases, we need to step out of our shoes and walk a mile in theirs. Instead of honking our horns, we need to be kind…to have compassion, because we don’t know what they might be dealing with in their lives.
How will you apply this message to your life? Will you pray for those who are hurting? Will you show compassion by taking action and trying to help them?
Our first parents walked with God and talked with God. They were given one rule: don’t eat the apple. If you love Me, don’t eat the apple. What did they do? They ate the apple! So here we are. Our Lord says, if you love me, keep My Commandments. Realizing our failed human condition, He tells us exactly how we are to love Him. He has given us the law. The purpose of the law is to love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself. The law and the commandments spell out how to do it. We think love is an emotion, and we confuse love with liking. There’s a big difference. We are called to love as Christ loved. We are to keep the Commandments for those are acts of love. The commands of the Church are even more specific, because everyone tries to be a Canon lawyer. God made a rock so big He can’t move it. Ask the Sheriff. When they turn on the blue lights, everyone becomes a lawyer. “What do you mean…I have my rights!” No. The law is quite specific. This is how you love. In 2,000 years of Church history, there is not a situation that the Church hasn’t covered. If you have committed a sin that I haven’t heard, I’ll pay you for the privilege to hear it. You are not that original…I work with paratroopers. Trust me…you are not that original.
Our Lord teaches us how to love, and He gives us specifics about how to love. Sometimes, it is not the most pleasant thing for us to do. People often come to me and ask about what the Church teaches. First, the Church is not an “it”. The Church is a “Who” …it is the body of Christ. It is not a “What.” In the Book of Acts, He asked Saul, “Why are you persecuting Me?” Go back to the Gospels. Jesus said, “He who hears you hears Me.” So, the Church is not an “it” or an institution. The Church is Christ’s teachings handed down through the ages. When people ask me about a Church teaching, I give it to them and offer to give them the citation. “But I want to do this.” I know you want to do that. But, no. “But, it’s the more loving thing to do.” No, it’s not. You know more about love than Christ? Sometimes, it’s very hard. We want what we want when we want it, because our minds are affected by sin. Our original sin does that to us. Christ spells out the most loving thing to do. The most loving thing to do is not cosigning someone’s codependent behavior. “Oh, we should give free needles to drug addicts.” No, we should put them in rehab. “We should buy booze for alcoholics.” No, they kill people – about 50,000 highway deaths a year at least. “We should perform gay marriage.” No. Same sex attraction is a mental illness that affects two percent of the population. Their abuse of alcohol, drugs and suicidal behavior is off the charts. It’s triple or quadruple the number of so-called “ordinary” people. Doing the compassionate thing is not always compassionate. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. I see people in the Emergency Room, and they tell the doctor, “Oh, Doc, my back hurts…I need a script…I need some OxyContin.” No. Take some aspirin. Have a good day. You’re not hurt. “Oh, he’s hurting…he’s crying.” No. He needs to suck it up.
Jesus tells us the most specific and most loving thing to do. He not only tells us in precise detail, He also lived it. If we love God, we should do as He did. Imitate the saints and love God as they did. Find a patron saint, by baptism, by confession, or by a particular situation. For cancer situations, Saint Peregrine Laziosi is a good one to turn to. Find out what the saints did and imitate them. Do what they did and you will get what they got.
How will you apply this message to your life? Will you stop cosigning the codependent behavior of others? Will you imitate the saints by loving God as they did?
