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“You Cannot Judge Someone’s Insides by Their Outside“

Father Peter Fitzgibbons

February 6 – 7, 2021

Gospel:  Mark 1: 29-39

A number of years ago, I was vacationing at my now dead brother’s house.  My sister-in-law is very nice, and she let me stay there.  Why she married my brother is a mystery to me.  In my bedroom was a fireplace. This is a four bedroom house with two fireplaces, and I had one of them.  I was looking around at all of their pictures…I love looking at people’s pictures.  I saw a picture of my sister-in-law’s brother.  He was a good looking officer dressed in his Army Class-A uniform.  I asked my sister-in-law if he had ever served in Vietnam, and she said yes.  Did he ever tell you anything about the ribbons on his uniform?  She said no.  Well, I wouldn’t expect him to, but I’ll tell you this, because I think you need to know.  You might want to ask him about this top ribbon.  The highest award always goes on top. That is the Distinguished Flying Cross which is usually a downgraded Medal of Honor. You should know about that.  A few years later, he and I were sitting in the ICU while my brother was on his journey to Heaven.  He told me about some of his travels while he was in Vietnam.  I can’t tell you about them, because they are all classified, but, he did some pretty impressive things.  Now, he looks like a retired old man.  You just never know what people have done…about the good they have done.

When my brother was laid out in the box, he had all of these badges on his uniform.  He was a fire captain and assigned to fire and rescue.  I didn’t understand what the badges meant, so I asked a friend of his, Mike Scallion.  Mike said, “He never told you?”  No.  “Well, these are for the people he saved… he saved a lot of lives.”  But, my brother never told us.  People would come up and ask him to loan them money.  He’d say, “Sure!”  To my brother, it was a gift.  He never loaned money. You never know the good things people have done.  I still hear stories about my brother when I go home.

Conversely, you never know about the crosses people were given to carry by our good Lord.  There are the crosses we bear from birth that God gives us all.  Some change throughout our lives and come with age.  There are the crosses we have because of our sins which we have acquired on our own.  There are also the crosses that other people have given us.  Perhaps we didn’t have perfect parents.  I see a lot of those crosses in the Gated Community I visit.  People with those crosses have a harder shot at life than most of us.  You never know the crosses people are called to carry.  But, they have made their choices, and their crosses are mostly because they avoid God and choose to do evil.  The habit and attraction of sin carries its own cross.  Finally, there are the crosses we bear for our family, friends, and others. 

Now, when you leave here, you will probably encounter people who will irk the living you-know-what out of you.  Somehow, they find a way to stumble across our path.  They may cut us off in traffic. They may take our buggy in Harris teeter or Walmart.  They’ll do something, and you may want to go charismatic on them.  We might do that to people too, believe it or not, some of you might irk other people…I don’t know.   My First-Sergeant had a very effective counselling technique.  He was charismatic and laid hands on people.  We used to call it “wall-to-wall counselling,” and it usually solved the problem in one short session.  If it’s not strangers that irk us, it’s our family.  Those are the ones who can irk us the most.  My cousin calls me and always wants to Face-Time.  The last time he called me, I was hearing confessions when all of a sudden the theme from the “Godfather” starts playing – that’s my ring tone.  My phone showed that it was Jim, and he wanted to FaceTime.  Hey Cuz – I don’t do Face-Time. Learn it.  God allows people in our lives for a number of reasons, not just to irk us, but to teach us patience.

You obviously want to be holy, because you are here.  But, being here is only a part of becoming holy.  You have to go out and practice what you receive here.  All of those rosaries do no good if we don’t use them.  All the great Catholic books in the world and all the crucifixes do no good if we don’t put them into practice.  It’s nice when people say, “Father, that was a great sermon.”  Thanks. Take a copy of the sermon notes; I’ll even autograph it for you.  But it does no good unless you put the message into practice.  So, God sends people into our lives to remind us to pray for others and to help them carry their crosses. He puts these people in our lives to help us learn patience along with suffering.  We don’t know what crosses people are carrying.  We all would like for people to be considerate and compassionate toward us, but how can we be considerate and compassionate toward them?  By praying for them and helping them carry their crosses, whatever those crosses are.  They may be helping to carry someone else’s cross…you never know.  You cannot judge someone’s insides by their outside.

I ask patients how they are doing. Some will say, “Fine!”  But, you are in Hospice care.  Do you know what fine means?  I think we need to talk.  I wouldn’t be putting in menu orders for tomorrow if I were you.  We don’t know what’s going on inside of people. But, if they are like us, and yes, they are all like us, some better…some worse, but generally, we are all the same.  We can help them carry their crosses.  If they are irksome and obnoxious to us, it may be because you have called upon them when they were struggling or having a bad day, or maybe they had just gotten some bad news.  There are all sorts of reasons, culpable and inculpable, but we are called to pray for them all.  By doing so, you are helping them carry their cross.  Even if we do something nice for them, and they don’t thank us…boy, that ticks you off, doesn’t it?   You do something nice for someone, and they don’t thank you?  Oh, baby!  I need a thank you note for that dinner or that Christmas gift!  But, be thankful to have been found worthy to suffer for Him.  Say, “Thank you, Jesus for allowing me to suffer for the sake of your name.” 

Father’s Afterthoughts…

Alcohol is very good for COVID, but only if used externally

You can read all of Father Fitzgibbons’ sermons by going to https://annunciationcatholicalbemarle.com/ and clicking on “Blog” then “Categories” and then “Sermon Notes.  From a cell phone, click on “Blog” then “Menu” and then “Categories.”