You may be afraid of flying, spiders, heights, and snakes, but there is one fear that dominates the human experience. We all have it. It’s our greatest fear. It sabotages relationships. It produces existential loneliness.
“You may be afraid of flying, spiders, heights, and snakes, but there is one fear that dominates the human experience. We all have it. It’s our greatest fear. It sabotages relationships. It produces existential loneliness.
We’re afraid that if people really knew us, they wouldn’t love us. That’s our greatest fear.
The real tragedy is that by pretending to be the person we think other people want us to be, we destroy our chances at really being loved. Because when someone does come along to say, “I love you” there’s a little voice in our head that says, “No you don’t. You love the person you think I am.”
This is how people end up desperately lonely in a relationship.
Hugh Prather observed, “Some people are going to like me and some won’t. So I might as well be myself, and then at least I’ll know that the people who like me, like me.””
“Some thoughts are beautiful, and some thoughts are ugly. Some help you become the best-version-of-yourself and some don’t.
Here are THREE THINGS you should think about MORE:
1. The best things that have ever happened to you. 2. The things in the past you thought you would never get over… and did. 3. The most fulfilling lives are not built on talent, beauty, money, things, or even success. They are built on love, humor, service, friendship, wisdom and chocolate.
Thoughts play a powerful role in our lives. What you choose to think about determines the direction of your life. Don’t like where your life is headed, change what you spend your days thinking about.
Think more beautiful thoughts and you – and your life – will become more beautiful.”
The Leading Indicator of Success – There Are Two Types of People – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
“The great predictor of success is not talent or opportunity, but attitude towards learning. Developing the habit of continuous learning leads to success both personal and professionally.
Benjamin Barber wrote: “I divide the world into learners and non-learners. There are people who learn, who are open to what happens around them, who listen, who hear the lessons. When they do something stupid, they don’t do it again. And when they do something that works a little bit, they do it even better the next time. The question to ask is not whether you are a success or a failure, but whether you are a learner or a non-learner.”
Become a life-long learner. It is essential in our quest to live more meaningful lives. Read books, take courses, listen to podcasts, and watch videos that help you become the-best-version-of-yourself.”
Self-Talk: Six Examples of Positive and Negative Self-Talk – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
“There is a lot of discussion these days about self-talk, but rarely does anyone provide examples. The concept gets talked about as if everyone knows what it is and how it plays out in our daily lives.
So here are six practical examples of positive and negative self-talk.
Negative: I can’t do it. Positive: I haven’t worked it out yet.
Negative: Nobody tells me anything. Positive: I’ll reach out and see what I discover.
Negative: I’ll never be good at this. Positive: Every time I try this I get better.
Negative: I never have enough time. Positive: There is enough time to get the most important things done.
Negative: I’m always unlucky. Positive: Something wonderful is about to happen.
The key is to practicing positive self-talk is practicing. You have to work at it. It doesn’t come naturally to most of us, especially when we are stressed or disappointed.”
24 Hour Truth Challenge Why do you think Pilate spent so much time with Jesus? He likely already knew what he was going to do to Jesus, yet he spent more time than he needed to. Did he have a troubled conscience? Or perhaps he simply felt “that feeling” we get when something isn’t right. Like Pilate, we always seem to know the truth when we see it, drift away from it, or betray it.
TODAY’S GOSPEL IS JOHN 18:33-37
Today Matthew invites you to take a look at your relationship with truth with a 24 hour truth challenge. Check out the reflection to learn more!
The Most Important Moment in Your Life – Learn How to Master Life – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
“The most important moment in your life is the moment of decision. Learn to master the moment of decision and you will live a life uncommon. Becoming a great decision maker is one of life’s most important skills.
Every day you make hundreds of decisions, and your decisions determine the quality and direction of your life.
Here are 5 tips for making better decisions: 1. Determine if it is a major decision or a smaller, even trivial decision. 2. Give yourself time (if possible). Don’t make the decision before you have to. 3. Write down the pros and cons. 4. Consider your values and goals. 5. Seek counsel from the wisest person you know.
We build our lives one choice at a time. Make it a goal to become a better decision maker every year for the rest of your life.”
“Philosophy” means lover of wisdom. Are you a lover of wisdom? Do you believe the more wisdom you have the happier and more fulfilling your life will be? Most people don’t, and that’s why the ISMS rise up in every place and time and destroy people’s loves.
The four practical philosophies ruling our age are: Individualism. What’s in it for me? Hedonism. If it feels good, do it. Minimalism. What is the least I can do? Materialism. Materials possessions are more important than character and values.
Every day you make hundreds of decisions. Are you trying to make wise choices or are you wrapped up in the ISMS of our age? Do you have a process for making decisions or are you just doing the best you can in each situation?
Let me share with you a way that will help you start making better decisions right now, today. Whatever the decision, just ask yourself: What will help me and others become the-best-versions-of-ourselves?”
4 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself (How to) Stop Sabotaging Yourself and Take Control of Your Life – Matthew Kelly
“Resistance wears a thousand masks, many of which are so effective we don’t even recognize resistance is behind them. Laziness, procrastination, fear, doubt, instant gratification, self-loathing, indecision, escapism, pride, self-deception, friction, tension, and self-sabotage are just some of the ways resistance manifests its ugly self in our lives and causes us to settle for so much less than God has imagined for us. You cannot become the-best-version-of-yourself unless you wake up every morning ready to slay resistance. Resistance stands between you and happiness.
Here are 4 ways to break through resistance and stop sabotaging yourself:
1. Be mindful when you are stressed, anxious, or over-tired, and learn ways to manage these states. 2. Abolish “If only…” thinking from your mind and life. 3. Whatever you are feeling – name it and own it! You are not your feelings, but if you avoid them, they will destroy you. 4. Develop one grounding habit that you do every day and NEVER miss. Run, walk, meditate, read… find your thing and ingrain it deep into your daily routine.
And remember, don’t just be yourself, become the best version of yourself!”
We all lose perspective on life from time to time. When that happens, it’s important to step back from who we are, where we are, and what we are doing, and take another look. Here are three questions to help you do that:
3 Questions that Put Everything in Perspective – Matthew Kelly
1. You get a call from an attorney tomorrow who tells you about a relative you never knew you had who has died and left you $100 billion dollars. If you knew you would never have to worry about money, what would you do with the rest of your life and what would you do with the money?
2. You go to the doctor tomorrow, she does some tests, comes back and says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is you are going to feel perfectly healthy until the moment you die. The bad news is five years from today you are going to die.” If you knew you only had five years to live, what would do over the next five years?
3. Now question three sounds a lot like question number two, but it’s different. You go to the doctor tomorrow, he does some tests, comes back and says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is you are going to feel perfectly healthy until the moment you die. The bad news is, you are going to die right now.” If you died right now, what would you never get to do that’s important to you?
Most people spend more time thinking about their annual vacation than they do thinking about their life. When was the last time you sat down and really thought about the life you want? It is too easy to let another week, month, year slip by without really thinking about it. It‘s too easy to just let life happen to us. You don’t have to settle for the life you stumbled into.”